Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Female trouble

In case you didn’t know, I’m female. And being a woman I have hormones that tend to race and take over. Usually all is fine with the world, I take The Pill every morning, I happily stay child-free, I don’t have hormonal rage attacks and everyone is safe. Until recently. It hasn’t been pretty.

Usually I get one day a month when I turn into the Bitch From Hell but I know it’s one day, I can keep the beast inside and everyone keeps their limbs. But lately it’s been creeping into a couple of days and now three days where Mothers must keep their children indoors and men don’t look me in the eye for fear of my rage burning thru their retinas.

So off to the Dr. I go. Mainly because I’m a hypochondriac (I could have some Rage Disease) and also because I know it’s hormonal and that, in all likelihood, a new Pill will fix everything. So, back to the Gynecologist where I wait for (only!) an hour reading Parenting Magazine and learn how to breastfeed.

So I finally get in she says, “Oh yeah, it’s hormones. OK, so you’re in your mid-thirties….”

“Uh, NO. I’m in my EARLY thirties.”

“Yeah, right, whatever, keep dreaming. So you’re in your early-thirties. You’re half way to menopause and your hormone levels are shifting. It happens.” Lengthy conversation ensues (Of course what’s repeating over and over and over in my head is the phrase “halfway to menopause.” I have never felt so old before), I get a new pill, told to take a B complex vitamin and I’m on my way.

She mentioned that also a contributing factor to higher hormone levels could be that I’ve never been pregnant before. SO here I am again being penalized for not having reproduced by age 32.

You know it’s bad enough that I’m discriminated against by not being able to park in the good spots by the grocery store because I’m not a car with “small children” but now my hormones are holding it against me too? This sucks.


Anonymous melissa b. said...

I did something similar around 28 and I did have two kids by then. My damn hormones went out of whack, I'm surprised I didn't knock anyone out. And sex drive? Nonexistent. I switched pills a few times then just got sick of it and got off of them completely. I have never felt better. Although, of course, it sucked not having the pill for birth control.

And yeah, okay, I'm a mom but I HATE those mommies and babies magazines. The insipid, annoying language in those things makes me hurl. I have no idea how you did it for 2 hours. You are a mighty and brave warrior.

I wish you the best of luck!

August 16, 2006 2:17 PM  
Blogger Pioneer Woman said...

You MUST go off the pill. I promise you, you will even out and feel like a new person within 15 to 20 days. My sister and I have conducted several studies and we're convinced of it.

'Course, you might wanna invest in some "condominiums". But I won't go there. :)

August 16, 2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger GT said...

HA! And here my doc says my "rage" was from having kids... I'm 32 and on thyroid meds which have been a DREAM!

August 16, 2006 2:29 PM  
Blogger E said...

Conclusion? Never believe Doctors!!!
Thanks for the advice, really. I'd love to go off the pill but for several reasons I will/can not. And really, the fear of reproducing is just too great. I'm amazed I don't use twelve different back-up methods.
Melissa, it was PAINFUL. Where the hell were the People and US magazines? AT least a Time or Newsweek would have been welcome! And Yes, I did say something to the receptionist about it. She looked confused..

August 16, 2006 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The fix for me was thyroid medicine too, and it has fixed my crazy rage. You do what's right for you, I agree on the magazines, I requested People or Time, at my next visit, I did see US News and an InStyle, so that was an improvement.

August 17, 2006 9:04 AM  
Blogger t_cole said...

look, from one crazy bitchy woman to another - i feel ya, sister. i really do.
and getting off the pill actually did make a dif for me.
but then having kids made me crazy all over again. (see my blog)
it's 6 of one and half dozen the other.
i say, go with it. enjoy the crazy. i certainly do...

August 22, 2006 3:08 PM  

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