Female trouble

In case you didn’t know, I’m female. And being a woman I have hormones that tend to race and take over. Usually all is fine with the world, I take The Pill every morning, I happily stay child-free, I don’t have hormonal rage attacks and everyone is safe. Until recently. It hasn’t been pretty.

Usually I get one day a month when I turn into the Bitch From Hell but I know it’s one day, I can keep the beast inside and everyone keeps their limbs. But lately it’s been creeping into a couple of days and now three days where Mothers must keep their children indoors and men don’t look me in the eye for fear of my rage burning thru their retinas.

So off to the Dr. I go. Mainly because I’m a hypochondriac (I could have some Rage Disease) and also because I know it’s hormonal and that, in all likelihood, a new Pill will fix everything. So, back to the Gynecologist where I wait for (only!) an hour reading Parenting Magazine and learn how to breastfeed.

So I finally get in she says, “Oh yeah, it’s hormones. OK, so you’re in your mid-thirties….”

“Uh, NO. I’m in my EARLY thirties.”

“Yeah, right, whatever, keep dreaming. So you’re in your early-thirties. You’re half way to menopause and your hormone levels are shifting. It happens.” Lengthy conversation ensues (Of course what’s repeating over and over and over in my head is the phrase “halfway to menopause.” I have never felt so old before), I get a new pill, told to take a B complex vitamin and I’m on my way.

She mentioned that also a contributing factor to higher hormone levels could be that I’ve never been pregnant before. SO here I am again being penalized for not having reproduced by age 32.

You know it’s bad enough that I’m discriminated against by not being able to park in the good spots by the grocery store because I’m not a car with “small children” but now my hormones are holding it against me too? This sucks.