Thursday, January 19, 2006

In MY opinion.....

As I was walking to work in 35 degree weather a girl walked by me in Ugg boots, a MicroMini skirt, a baby toll t-shirt and jean jacket. These are truly the days I wish I had a camera phone. This also got me thinking about all the things I see people wearing that I think are ridiculous. Since I’m not one to keep my thoughts to myself here is a list of my least favorite fashion items and why:

Ugg Boots. Read their name. Enough said. OK, no, I have to add more. What the fuck is with these THINGS being popular? I don’t care if I’m putting my own, non-Ugg boot clad foot in my mouth. Face it. They are some seriously UGGly pieces of footwear. They are not stylish but for some reason they are now fashionable. And yes, there IS a difference.

MicroMini skirts. I don’t care how nice your legs are or if your waist is smaller than mine was when I was born, they’re awful ESPECIALLY when you try to sit down. I don’t care if you are wearing your special Days of the Week underwear on the right day or not.

Pants with the crotches hanging to their knees. What the fuck? Seriously. Where do people even BUY them? Apparently in addition to having the crotch down at your knees, they now have to be worn UNDER you ass. Yup, they don’t even sit at your waist anymore. Gone are the labels that read” Sits at the Waist,” Sits Just Below the Waist” or just plain, “Low.” Now they read, “Sits below your ass,” “Sits WAY below your ass,” or, what I would need: “For those with no asses.” Really, I will take a picture one day. I have NO ASS. I make up for it by repeating the fact over and over again though.

Cropped Shirts. Honestly, out of all those little baby doll tee’s you’ve seen out there how many are worn by people who can actually, rightfully, wear one? Besides celebrities or sports stars? NONE. I do not want to see your fat hanging over your “ultra low” rise pants anymore than you would want to see mine so for God’s sake, buy a mirror and look at yourself before you waste $10. on it.

Ultra low rise pants. Yet another Fashion Don’t for those with a gut. If the only way the jeans fit are to have your fat roll over the top, put them back. Surprise, surprise, that actually means they DON’T FIT. I also don’t want to see your thong or g-string no matter how sexy you think it looks. If my Plumber can keep his crack from showing, you should be able to too.

PJs and slippers in public. I have already blogged about this but I think it deserves a second mention. No, no, no.

If you can’t walk in high heels, don’t wear them. I am sick of watching women teeter in shoes because Sarah Jessica Parker made them fashionable to wear with gym shorts (and you avid Sex and the City fans KNOW what episode I’m talking about. I’m still not even sure she did pull that one off). Just because you can stand in them doesn’t mean you can walk in them. Take them off and go buy a pair of flats. They’re in fashion now too, you know.

I know I’ve missed quite a few so if I have please leave it in the comment section. If you think it’s inappropriate, I most likely think it is too. I will update accordingly.

UPDATE: My friend Jen just e-mailed with these three to add:

1 curlers in your hair in public - yikes! - I agree.
2 swishy sweatsuits with matching tops and bottoms - I totally agree. I do love swishy pants though!
3 inappropriate "boots" on cold snowy days - drives me crazy when people do this and then they complain about the weather - don't get me started. - OK, see I do occasionally wear inappropriate footwear in bad weather but I NEVER complain about it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

As if slippers weren't bad enough....
There is a girl (she's 19, therefore a GIRL in my book)here at work who wears Nike beach sandals almost everyday....with ankle high WHITE SWEATSOCKS. Dadgummit, why can't I insert a hyperlink in the comments.... you know the things I'm talking about right??
One big, fat velcro strap over a nubby plastic footbed? I have a pair and they are extremely comfortable, ON THE BEACH! Not for work wear. She will wear a nice blouse & dressy-ish trousers, then you look down & there they are. YUK!

January 19, 2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Cat: (Can I call you that?)

You MUST intervene NOW!!!

How can you look at that everyday?!?!?!?

You're a better woman than I am. I'd have told her to wear something else by now....

Hell, I'd have bought her something else to wear just as a public service!!!!

I am amazed at your self control!!

E: You've hit on some of my favorite fashion pet peeves.

But what are swishy pants?

January 20, 2006 9:31 AM  
Blogger E said...

Ahhhh, swishy pants. They are those athletic pants made out of windbreaker material. When you walk in them the material rubs against itself making a swishing noise. Hence, Swishy pants. They're the best but not as a Swishy Suit.

January 20, 2006 9:50 AM  
Blogger t_cole said...

i'm with Pissy, you must set the woman-child straight on her (lack of) fashion sense... or for that matter, COMMON sense...

idk E, you hit on all my pet peeves. the only one you missed, and this is completely understandable, is when they try to dress little girls up to look like Hoochie Momas. i HATE when they make clothes for little girls, preteens too, that look like they could go clubbing in. ICK ICK ICK.

January 20, 2006 1:36 PM  
Blogger E said...

T cole: I couldn't agree more!

January 20, 2006 2:17 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

Ohhhhhhh.... ok.. now I know what you're talking about.
I don't wear those. They don't really flatter the "fuller figured"!

and t: I, too, HATE for people to dress their little girls in "hootchi mama" clothes. Let them be little girls!!!

January 20, 2006 11:33 PM  

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