Just slap a bow on it

It’s been a really busy past few days so I’m sorry if I’m not commenting very much. Trust me, I would love to but I’m slowly losing it. Last night I did get the chance to sit on the living room floor surrounded by presents, wrapping paper and ribbon and wrapped and watched TV for awhile.

As I sat and watched my “stories” I noticed how many commercials really are only shown around the holidays. For instance, have you ever seen a Norelco shaver without Santa? How about a laser guided measuring tape advertised in April? There are the same commercials every year. It took me until yesterday to see my first Chia pet commercial though. Do you know anyone who has received a Chia Pet? After 31 years, I now want one. Their marketing group has finally beaten me down.

Then there are all the perfume adds. Those always crack me up. One I haven’t seen this year, and must admit I miss a little, is Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds in which the narrator says” wHIte Diaaahhhhmonds..” in a very breathy voice (is that Dame Taylor herself?). I LOVE saying “wHIte Diaaahhhhmonds..” Last night I lifted my head to watch the tail end of a commercial for a men’s cologne called Chrome by Azzaro (and it comes with a really cheap looking gym bag so act now while supplies last!). I nearly gagged. Chrome? When I think of the smell of Chrome I think of that smell that lingers on your hands after you’ve been holding your keys or the smell of pennies. Do you know what I’m talking about? If not, go smell your change purse or house keys. It’s a gross distinctive metallic smell that does not seem appealing to me AT ALL. Maybe they should have done some more market research on that title.

I don’t quite understand perfume commercials either. I do see that it must be a challenge for an advertising firm. How does one convey a scent with images because God forbid they describe what it actually smells like. So, you have a perfume and it smells kind of fruity with a hint of vanilla? No problem, have Gwyneth Paltrow roll around in a field of flowers with a puppy, that will give the buyer an idea of what it smells like. Or, roses mixed with Bubble Gum? No problem! Have Britney stand outside a hotel room door with some young stud (not Kevin, thank GOD) and images flash thru her “brain” of them having sex, then getting engaged then married. BUT, then she takes her hand off the door knob and it’s over as quickly as that first marriage of hers. Perfect, that says Roses and bubble gum to me. Or, lemons with a hint of floral something? EASY! Just show a woman staring at herself in a wedding dress about to walk down the aisle. HUNH?!?!?

I DO understand Cologne ads. Those advertising guys know that women are the ones that buy it for their boyfriends/husbands/boytoys. Just have some hot guy with a TWELVE-pack (they don’t waste money on an actor with only a six-pack) leaping out of a pool or lounging by a pool or, hell, just standing around. It’s perfect. Women buy it and when their men wear it they just fantasize about the guy in the ad. It’s genius if you ask me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go out and buy some Chrome. The guy in the ad is totally my type.