Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Just a man trying to earn a decent living and a merit badge

As I was plodding away thru mounds of paperwork this morning a jolly, bearded man came skipping down the halls with boxes in his arms. OK, maybe he wasn’t skipping but he was pretty damned jolly. He poked his head in my door and said, “Girl Scout cookies”?

Ahhhhh, yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s Girl Scout Cookie time. (Not to be confused with Peanut Butter Jelly time, but close. To be watched with the sound ON too.) I LOVE Girl Scout cookies. Last year I bought about 8 boxes from a coworker and ate them all within 3 days. This year, I had to say no.

The nice man said, “Are you sure? They go great with coffee.” Buddy, Girl Scout cookies go great with everything. They go great with air. I held my ground, “No, but thank you SO much, really.” I wanted to tell him that I really did want to buy them from him, that I don’t give a rat’s ass about the Girl Scouts but I do care so very, very much about the cookie but that I can’t have sugar and that it was taking every ounce of restraint to not throw my wallet at him, grab the boxes, rip them open (except for the Samosas which aren’t called Samosas anymore, but I think are gross because they’re made with coconut) and devour them.

The self-control I displayed was amazing. I should get a medal. Or at the very least be awarded a box of cookies. Why the hell don’t those Girl Scouts get their asses in gear and make a sugar-free cookie? They make the “low-fat” lemon ones, what about me?!?! I think it’s discrimination. I’m going to go call the ACLU.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is sort of like here at work when the woman across the hall will make the general announcement: "I'M BREWING A POT OF THE STARBUCK'S COFFEE"

Since I will only allow myself 1 cuppa Joe every day, this announcement really annoys me.

February 07, 2006 3:00 PM  
Blogger t_cole said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE girl scout cookies.
is it really that time again already? dammit. i am in trouble.

February 07, 2006 5:12 PM  

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