Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Nothing says fun quite like a cold and soggy crotch

Since this seems to be a rather self-deprecating blog I will add to it my last humiliating story.

I was sitting here at my desk after having just dialed in to the 3rd of 5 conference calls I have today. I was trying to juggle the phone and my lunch that it has taken me over an hour to actually consume. I took the phone off “mute” knowing I was going to have to answer a question (oh yeah, BIG mistake) and reached for my water glass. No, I didn’t knock it onto my keyboard… this time. Oh no, I picked up the full glass of ICY COLD water and while holding the phone in my left hand, lifted the glass to my lips, hit the mouthpiece of the phone and spilled a little over half the VERY LARGE glass of water straight onto my jeans. Oh yes. In all of one second I gasped loudly as the icy water hit my stomach and crotch and then exclaimed, “Oh SHIT!” I am the epitome of professionalism am I not? Everyone shuts up (so THAT’S the way to shut them up… must remember that for the future..) and I was left to say, “Oops, sorry, I just spilled a very full glass of ice water onto my pants.” Laughter ensued and all went back to normal but now I’m really soggy and cold and I can’t get up because it looks like I peed myself. Needless to say I didn’t pay much attention to the call but that’s OK. I don’t think it was very interesting anyway.

Monday, April 03, 2006

A recipe for exhaustion

It started with going out with Train Guy and his friends at 10 on Saturday night (well past my bed time – damn kids). Add on to that not getting to sleep until 4:30 AM and I was just asking for trouble. Throw in Daylight Savings, a 7:30 AM doggie wake-up call, a full day’s worth of manual labor in the garden, add a little bit too much sun on my pasty white skin (now I’m a lovely shade of pink), sprinkle with some errands, top it all off by having Cool Neighbor Chick, Mr. Zinfandel and another neighbor over at 8 to watch LAST week’s Sopranos and I was DONE.

But no! It doesn’t stop at plain exhaustion, I’m lame too! I was so exhausted last night that by 9 I actually had to kick everyone out and asked them to come back tonight to watch the “current” episode that I had to TiVo. Yup, THAT’S how lame is done, my friends. My apologies to my neighbors but I’ll see you guys at 7 tonight!

Meanwhile, if you need me, I’ll be asleep under my desk. Snoring.