I love games, as long as I win

So Train Guy has this little game he likes to play called, “Let’s guess E’s age.” The other night I accompanied him in to his “office” so he could prepare something in a Petri dish with some cells or something before we grabbed dinner. One of his coworkers was there who I’d never met so while he was centrifuging something or God knows what he does for a living I talked to her.

This morning when he got in to work that same woman asked him if I was still in school. He said no but how old do you think she is? This absolutely lovely woman who is now entitled to my first born should I accidentally procreate said, and I quote, “21 or 22?” Oh how I love her. Train Guy replied with, “HAH, she’s a member of AARP.”

Very funny, Mister but let’s not forget members of AARP get some kick-ass discounts. And I will not be passing those savings on to you. Now, please go be a dear and get me my cardigan because I think I’m catching a chill.

I am SO going to judge now

On the news this morning a man was interviewed about the flooding here in the Northeast. His niece had been swept away in the flood waters. He was choking up but got out the words, “It’s so sad, she got swept away. I lost $2,000 worth of guns, gone, just gone…(sobbing commences)” are you fucking kidding me?!? You’re worried about losing your precious gun collection and your niece is most likely dead? THIS is what you say on national television?! Someone needs a priority check. Preferably with one of his missing guns.

Singing in the sun

The sun is FINALLY shining. We’ve had 7 inches of rain in 4 days and four inches of it fell last night. No joke. Rivers are overflowing, homes are being washed away and according to the weather people we haven’t even seen the worst of it yet. The rivers haven’t crested yet. That’s going to happen tonight.

I, on the other hand, was dreading going down to my basement this morning. Not because I was afraid the boogey man would get me (or the fur/dust balls since I have never vacuumed the concrete floor once since I moved in nearly two years ago. SIDEBAR - Uh, is that really gross or just sort of gross? How often do you vacuum your concrete basement floor?). I was afraid of finding out how much water would greet me. Would it be lapping at the first step or just be creeping in at the edges where the floor meets the wall? Well, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I just had a small trickle coming in right near the dehumidifier. Not bad!

Of course I was thrilled I didn’t have all of my crap (and I mean that kind of literally. My basement is a repository of all things crappy. When I don’t know what to do with something I just wing it down the basement stairs and try not to trip over it when I go down there to do the laundry) ruined but really I was just thrilled that I didn’t have to vacuum it all up with my neighbor’s wet/dry vac or *GASP* worse, CLEAN THE BASEMENT! I’ve gone this long without doing anything down there so why break the tradition now?

Pigeon toed?

So yesterday as I was waiting for the train on the platform there were several pigeons bobbing their way around looking for French fries, potato chips and whatever else falls from commuters’ mouths as they jam food in their mouths before the train comes. I never really paid any attention to the pigeons before. The just strut around with their heads jutting out with every step which makes me rather dizzy to watch - wouldn’t that be really annoying if with every step you took your head pushed forward? Anyway….. So yesterday I actually watched them and I noticed that one was missing a foot and was hobbling around on the stump. I’ve seen this before. Several times actually but I never really thought about it. Then I looked at two of the other pigeons and they were all missing toes. One pigeon only had one toe on one foot and two on the other and the other rodent with wings had two toes on each foot. There was one that all its toes (hence how I knew that pigeons indeed have three toes per foot) but watching them walk I wondered, how? How does a pigeon lose a foot or even some toes? Isn’t that strange to you all?

At this point you may be thinking that I’ve really lost it. That maybe the pressure of finding a dress for Train Guy’s cousin’s wedding has sent me over the deep end or possibly being locked in my office all day with no social interactions besides my bathroom jaunts has made me crazy, but no! Seriously, how in the hell does a pigeon lose a toe or four?

It’s not like they lose them at the saw mill or in some underage sweat shop making t-shirts for Kathy Lee Gifford. A train certainly couldn’t have run over their feet. They aren’t sitting at a loom in India making rugs or even working in a factory applying thingamajigs to whoozamacallits. So how does it happen?

If you find out please let me know. I’m not losing sleep over it or anything but I am curious. Of course it doesn’t seem to be a real handicap for them. Those were some of the fattest birds I have ever seen. I could easily serve one up on Thanksgiving to a table of 20 and no one would know it wasn’t a turkey.