Friday, July 07, 2006

The thrill of the ride

I promise I’ll write about shrimp and the Tour de France another day but what I need to write about (this one’s for you Cool Neighbor Chick) is the fact that Train Guy made me drive his car last night.

Yep, he MADE me.

Train Guy has an AWESOME sports car and I am scared of it. As I mentioned before, I LOVE cars. He’s offered to let me drive it before but knowing the size of his engine (heh, heh, heh) and then the cost of the damned thing (I couldn’t afford to replace a headlight should I accidentally smash it) makes me scared of it. And, quite honestly, I love being driven in the car. I love sitting in the passenger seat and watching the world fly by. Train Guy is an excellent driver. Even went to race car driving school for SIX months (no kidding) and so he can handle that thing like the fine piece of German engineering that it is but even though he’s offered I’ve turned him down.

Until last night.

He picked me up and as I walked out the door he got out and said, “You’re driving and all the way downtown not just around the block.” I’m sure this is domestic abuse in some way. I got in and OH.MY.GOD. sigh…. It was quite possibly the most thrilling thing I’ve ever done and my stomach muscles were tense the entire time.

Nothing beats getting on the highway from 0 to EIGHTY FIVE (oh yeah, EIGHTY FIVE BABY!!!!!! I even got the rear spoiler to go up!) in under a millisecond. Holy crap.

All went well until on the way back from downtown I put the car in first and then it slipped out of gear. OUCH. Oh the look on Train Guy’s face. I couldn’t stop apologizing and even though he said it was OK I know he was dying inside. Needless to say, even though he said I can drive it anytime I doubt I’ll be getting behind the wheel again. But damn did I get some awesome cat calls in that thing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go put my house on the market so I can go buy my own. I’m sure the dogs and I will love living in it. So Cool Neighbor Chick, can I move into your garage and use your bathroom in exchange for free rides in it? We can do our Girls Gone Wild schtick in it with our other Awesome Neighbor Chick.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Just a little more to the left

I am sorry. It’s been busy here at work what with me checking in at to check the race, joining conference calls in which I can’t hear a damn thing anyone is saying so I mute the phone and file my nails and searching the internet for proof that the news report on Channel 10 this morning was correct and that Jen and Vince really did get engaged. I mean, I need to know because I’ll have to go shopping for a gift.

Honestly, I’ve been a bit busy and I’ll be out of the office all day tomorrow at meetings and so I’m trying to prepare for those so I don’t sound like an utter jackass as usual. And the “best” part is that we’ll be conferenced in via VIDEO conferencing. Greeeeeaaaaat, so I’ll actually have to iron my pants, brush my hair and throw on some make-up for good measure. Yes, there’s nothing really bad about watching one’s co-workers on TV live but throw in having your own image in a box in the corner of the screen is really disconcerting.

I find myself staring at my image the whole time. Hmmm, if I tip my head to the left you can’t quite see the start of a double chin, please make a mental note to always tip my head to the left. Then I start fidgeting with my hair and becoming generally obsessed that my head really does look like a soft bowling ball and that it is way to small for my body and what was I thinking wearing that black shirt with those khaki pants? I’ll also have to make a concerted effort to curb my yawning because all the self-critiquing while trying to say intelligent things just wipes me out.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Shellfish or spandex?

Sorry all but apparently my brain is still on vacation. Four and a half days off will do that to you. I promise to post tomorrow. Maybe something about shrimp, how I hate them but America loves them, or maybe about the Tour de France. I’m obsessed. I love it. How can you not love the most amazing athletes EVER TO WALK THE FACE OF THE EARTH who wear spandex and are so damned polite in their sport that they’ll stop and take group pee breaks. Granted they do it on the side of the road while on camera but whatever. But on the flip side there’s the fact that they all have negative body fat percentages and weigh less than my right arm so maybe I’m not as crazy about them as first thought. See, I need to go and think this through.

Yeah, maybe I’ll blog about that tomorrow. Thank God for TiVo and do NOT tell me who won today’s stage or I will be very, very unhappy.