My friend Murphy and his famous Law

I get the new SUV and George tears a ligament jumping out of it. I get into an exclusive relationship and that other someone pops his head back into the picture. I lose some weight and then none of my newly purchased pants fit and I don’t have any money to buy new ones. I finally get motivated enough to start running again and am sidelined by a diagnosis of degenerative arthritis in both my hips. We finally get reservations at an amazing restaurant downtown but the best time they can give us (for the next few weeks) is 10:00 PM; a good half hour after my bedtime.

And today:

I had lunch with my friend T today and he picked up the tab. The sun is shining and it almost feels like Spring. George is recuperating at my parents’ house today and seems to be doing better. I finished a big project that was looming over my head and tomorrow is Friday.

Then I looked down and noticed that I’ve been walking around for the past few hours with my fly down. Lovely. Just lovely. Sigh…

How to know when you have an excellent Veterinary Orthopedic Surgeon

Yesterday at George’s surgery consultation:

“So Goerge will be absolutely fine. It’s a common procedure and he’ll be 100% in 6 months. Now, how are YOU going to be?”
“Um, I’ll probably burst into tears when I get in the car but I’ll be OK.”
“Good. Now do you drink red or white wine?”
“Uh, red.”
“OK, have one glass tonight when you get home and then have two glasses tomorrow night when I call you to tell you he’s out of surgery and everything is fine but that he’ll have to stay the night. I can also write you a prescription for something if you’d like.”

I wasn’t sure whether he was kidding or not but I definitely drank the wine last night and will have the two glasses tonight.

They just called and said the surgery went perfectly and he’s going to be OK. Well, after I sign over the deed to my house and promise to wash and wax his car every week for a year.

Ass Biting 101

It always comes back to bite you in the ass doesn’t it? Guess who just bought a house around the corner from me? If you guessed Roger you’d be right.

Of course there is a plus side. If the roof ever springs a leak in the middle of the night guess whose door I’ll go knock on regardless of if it’s 2 in the morning or not.