Advice from E
Things you shouldn’t say out loud in public: “Oh God my ass hurts” – you’re probably the only one who knows it’s from a long and torturous gym work out overseen by Mr. Zinfandel.
And when a guy says to you, “Hey, let’s try this, I saw it in a magazine!” don’t do it. No matter what magazine he saw it in. Mr. Zinfandel is looking for new ways in magazines to torture me at the gym. That’s what made my ass hurt. And thighs. And calves. And hamstrings. And some other muscles I never knew I had in the lower half of my body. Bastard.
And finally, don't think that going to the gym guarantees weight loss. Even if you work out really hard. I'm gaining weight. Of course it could be because I come home and am STARVING so I eat the entire contents of my fridge... then restock it... then do it all over again the next day... stupid "getting in shape" resolution...
And when a guy says to you, “Hey, let’s try this, I saw it in a magazine!” don’t do it. No matter what magazine he saw it in. Mr. Zinfandel is looking for new ways in magazines to torture me at the gym. That’s what made my ass hurt. And thighs. And calves. And hamstrings. And some other muscles I never knew I had in the lower half of my body. Bastard.
And finally, don't think that going to the gym guarantees weight loss. Even if you work out really hard. I'm gaining weight. Of course it could be because I come home and am STARVING so I eat the entire contents of my fridge... then restock it... then do it all over again the next day... stupid "getting in shape" resolution...